It's summer - early June, not too hot. I'm 11, at my cousins house. We are in the back yard, playing, running around, having unstructured fun. We spent lots of time together. He is 3 months younger than me.
Somehow, my uncle gets me alone with him in the old metal shed in the corner of the yard. It smells in the shed - old smells, dirty smells. Decay of grass and leaves, musty smells. We are looking for something - a ball, toy? There is a stool or chair - he sits down, his large belly sticking out, stretching the worn yellow t-shirt across it. He pulls me onto his lap, his big arms around my middle, not too tight but holding me. The smell of cigars on his breath is all I can smell now. I turn away from it. His chin has the Saturday stubble - he rubs it on my cheek. I struggle to pull away, he holds tight. He speaks in teasing tones - I don't remember what is said; I just want to get away.
His one hand moves to my chest - I have nothing more than tiny bumps - no breasts, but he rubs and pinches. This is what moves me to wrestle away and move - step out into the sunlight. I'm confused. I go in the house, looking for my cousin, my aunt, anyone. Why did my uncle, who I love, do such a thing? I know it's wrong. I don't tell anyone. I regret this.
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