I'm Being Stalked by Barack Obama

I’m being stalked by Barack Obama. Somehow he has gotten my number, probably by paying someone for a list of phone numbers that included mine. He calls me at all hours, mostly when I'm sitting down for dinner. For a guy I haven't even met, he's very persistent. I wish he would stop telling me how much he wants change – I want to change my phone number! What's worse, I never know when he's going to "pop up", especially while I'm checking my email. He sneaks into the banner above my email account, and flashes his smile at me. He has gone so far as to have his friends try to contact me - and persuade me to like him, like we're in the 9th grade! I feel like his next move will be a dozen roses.

The worst: he clogs up my mailbox with propaganda. And getting a flyer in the mail with his face on it - almost every day now - as if anything he publishes is truthful? And his shameless "thanking me for my understanding during the DNC", adding more junk mail and trash to the landfill – what is he thinking? I'm getting tired of hauling out the trash!


As the days get fewer between now and the election, I am more and more ambivalent towards the candidates, more so to Obama. News of his past connections to people I feel are "on the fringe" makes me nervous. I have met only a handful of people who will admit they are voting for Obama. I, like the majority, am still undecided. Truthfully, neither candidate is meeting my criteria for president. But I did notice Ralph Nader's name on my mail-in ballot.......