Daddy Dearest

Today my brother went to court, for what seems like the hundredth time, to confront his ex-girlfriend and her desire to make his life a mess. My brother has two kids with her, now twelve and eight. The ex's daddy has lots of moola, and when she and my brother split four years ago daddy helped her convince the court that moving to Las Vegas was the best thing, and that twice yearly visitations were going to be enough daddy time. I am still so mad at Larimer County for allowing such a ridiculous thing to happen. In moving from Colorado, they basically severed all ties with everyone here, except their dad. He gets to Skype with them (oh, and that's one step above a text message) ONCE a week. Visits are only if my brother can get time off work - not everyone gets six paid weeks of vacation, and can afford the $3000.00 round trip airfare (each time). Yet the judge seemed to think this was totally reasonable, because he kept the child support amount low.

Hopefully you can already see that this started a long downward spiral of the relationship with the kids and their dad. Not to mention the relationship with their two older brothers. Oh, and let's not forget about me, the aunt, and my daughter, their cousin. We miss them so much. They are growing up and we don't even get a school photo from their mom. Christmas came without them, and I mailed the presents in January, hoping for a thank you note at least to let me know they got them. I'm still waiting.

None of this is the kids' fault. They don't know the anguish their dad feels each time he has to say goodbye after 20 minutes of a Skype conversation. They don't know how many times I've thought of them - wondering how they are, what their likes and interests are now, if they even remember us.  They missed the weddings of both of their brothers, and they have never met their nephew who is now almost 2. This is 100% the fault of the ex. She is just one more angry woman that is vindictive and has no other place for her anger. Yeah, my brother wasn't the perfect mate, but he was home every night to put the kids to bed, he cooked most of the time, he had a steady income and owned his own business, and built her a dream house. All of that was yanked out from under him, and now, well, he has nothing. The joke is on her, because he has found two wonderful women since the ex left (not at the same time - really!) and they both have made him pretty dang happy.

So when I spoke with my dear brother today after his court appearance, the news was no better. She wants more money. She wants him to get a second job (meanwhile she works part-time, and gets a monthly allowance from her dad). She wants him to pay her for the time that he didn't take the kids at his scheduled visitation times, regardless of why. She wants... blah blah blah. Has anyone asked the kids what they want? They kids are the ones who are missing out on half of their lives.