Wandering

As I write this, from the comfy space I have created in the basement, I am feeling the writer within me surging - almost clawing - to get out. Each day, from the first thinking moment of my day, I have every intention of parking my butt in the chair that once was my dad's, and sitting at the desk, that was also once dad's, in my unique and personal writing space that I have tirelessly worked to create over the past few weeks. However, as usual, I have found countless reasons, distractions really, to not sit my butt in the chair, at the desk, in MY space, and do what I know I really love to do! So this morning, again trying to find focus, I wrote in my morning pages journal (which I have put in a whopping two days worth so far - over almost 30 days time - obviously ignoring the daily routine of it) and I found the real reason I find everything else to do except sit my butt in this chair at this desk in this wonderful space and write. It's so simple, and I already knew it before my mind told my hand which holds the pen that put the words on the paper. I hate the revision - the rewrite - the polishing. I've always loved the writing but never the editing. Once something is out of my mind and on the paper, I want to be finished. But alas, it is not that easy. I do not write in perfection the first time around. No one does. No One. So as I had this written conversation with myself and read between the lines of the spiral notebook's pages, I realized that my lazy days are over. I have to work at this writing stuff. I have to put in the time, the effort, make it happen. Yes, I already knew that, but today it seems to have permeated my thick head and stubborn attitude. I have, as my own writing coach, opened the door and let the light shine in.

I already have made a plan for this week: MONDAY - submitting tips I have gathered, TUESDAY - querying for an article, WEDNESDAY - developing children's picture books story ideas. Thursday and Friday are still open, but my plan is to have an assignment at least one day in advance for those days. I've written each, as a commitment, on paper, under each day's heading. If I make a plan, I know I will stick with it. It's the vagueness of being a writer without an assignment that leaves me wandering. So I am my own boss, and am giving myself assignments. No more wandering.