It has been just over a month since I could get to a working computer and post a blog - and boy, does that make me cranky! I feel like there are a million thoughts crashing around in my head and slowly trickling into my body, making my muscles tense and leaving me feeling frustrated. If it wasn't for the deadly virus that I infected my laptop with, maybe it was the other computer crashing at will, I might have posted once or twice. Maybe it was the incredibly hot July weather, forcing us to stay indoors, afraid to venture to the playground where the slides and swings were beyond volcanic temperatures. Or, was it the new dog, casually gnawing on my mother's coffeetable? Oh, wait, I guess we should include the weekends spent camping - Wednesday-Friday to prepare, and then Monday & Tuesday to clean up. Oh, please don't think I'm complaining....... it's just hard to have so many things popping up. Mark says I need to do a better job of scheduling myself time to write - ooohhhh if it were that easy! But he is right, I do need to make it priority #1, right after the rest of cooking, shopping, cleaning, caring for and entertaining kids, and so on, and so on. HA! But this morning, before the house was awake with kids and dogs and cartoons, I was able to do a full 23 minutes of yoga - a life-saving effort if ever there was one. It made a HUGE difference, if only to my physical side, much less my spiritual one.
So, the biggest day of my life is almost here. Erica goes to kindergarten - full day kindergarten - in two days! She is very casual about it, which I have encouraged. I hope that Thursday morning she doesn't loose it all, and have a breakdown (save that for me - I've already shed several tears....). My brave daughter even wants to ride the bus! I'm so glad that she is not afraid, but I wonder if that is all a front - if she's putting on the brave face for me, knowing that is what I'm expecting. Regardless, I know she will do great. I just wish it wasn't here already. The past two years have gone too fast, and we have an amazing amount of mempries to keep from them. I look at her and realize that soon - too soon - she will no longer want me to be the center of her life. Hard for me to imagine. Part of being a mom, I guess.
I celebrated my birthday this past weekend with my family, but also with several hours to myself. If anyone wants to know, I'm 37 - and thank you for keeping your remarks to yourself. OK, I FEEL 37, but am really 40. Fine, I guess you want the truth....... let's just say I'm past 40. I don't really care about the number, it's just that I truly do feel only 37 (even though I don't exactly remember what that feels like, it's the number I can - almost- get away with). I turned 37 shortly after Erica was born - so maybe I just wanted to stop aging, and be a "young mother". Regardless, I still love who I am, and the age I am. I'll just keep repeating that to myself, over and over. And over. And over.
So, the biggest day of my life is almost here. Erica goes to kindergarten - full day kindergarten - in two days! She is very casual about it, which I have encouraged. I hope that Thursday morning she doesn't loose it all, and have a breakdown (save that for me - I've already shed several tears....). My brave daughter even wants to ride the bus! I'm so glad that she is not afraid, but I wonder if that is all a front - if she's putting on the brave face for me, knowing that is what I'm expecting. Regardless, I know she will do great. I just wish it wasn't here already. The past two years have gone too fast, and we have an amazing amount of mempries to keep from them. I look at her and realize that soon - too soon - she will no longer want me to be the center of her life. Hard for me to imagine. Part of being a mom, I guess.
I celebrated my birthday this past weekend with my family, but also with several hours to myself. If anyone wants to know, I'm 37 - and thank you for keeping your remarks to yourself. OK, I FEEL 37, but am really 40. Fine, I guess you want the truth....... let's just say I'm past 40. I don't really care about the number, it's just that I truly do feel only 37 (even though I don't exactly remember what that feels like, it's the number I can - almost- get away with). I turned 37 shortly after Erica was born - so maybe I just wanted to stop aging, and be a "young mother". Regardless, I still love who I am, and the age I am. I'll just keep repeating that to myself, over and over. And over. And over.
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