Yesterday, somehow, I had some time to spare (yes, it does happen on occasion) and I picked up the AARP magazine my sister sent me. She's the 50+ subscriber, not me. They won't return my calls until I've reached that maturity level, I guess. Anyway.....On the cover is Jamie Lee Curtis. I have LOVED her since I first saw her in Halloween - way back when I was a teenager, and for that matter, so was she. And now I love her even more, because she has rejected all the beauty on the surface crap and become who she is - just a wife, mom, woman. I feel so lucky, because I am becoming that now, at 37 (ok, 41 for those of you who know the truth) rather than wasting another minute pining to be what I'm not. Check out the link to the article here: http://www.aarpmagazine.org/entertainment/essential_jamie_lee_curtis.html
Sure, I want a rock-solid butt or less wrinkles around my face, and definitely a nose that isn't so "Dutch". But overall, I'm just who I want to be, and it's women like her that verify I'm on the right track. I hope that I am that kind of role model to my daughter, for that matter to my step-daughters, even though they are 18 & 22, and past much of the part of their lives when they could be influenced.
I remember when my mom turned 55 - the double nickel as she called it - and I couldn't see what all the fuss was. Mom was never one to wear makeup, fancy clothes or lots of bling - she was just Rose, and although she did color her hair red, she didn't pretend to be anyone but Rose. I don't know if she ever wanted to look different. I think she accepted what she looked like (to me, as a kid, she looked a lot like Lucy Ricardo - and was just as fun) because she didn't have money for the fancy things, and later when she could afford them, she had no interest in them. As a teenager, looks are very important, and she did what she could to help me through those difficult years - trying for the perfect Farrah Fawcett hair, buying the right clothes - but all within reason. She never let me hide my true self, or cover up with trendy clothes to fit in. And as hard as it was at the time, I'm thankful now, because for the last 20 or so years of my life, I have LOVED who I was - and have loved becoming who I am.
I joked about being 37 -the truth is that I'm okay with being 41 and 11/12ths. I just don't FEEL like I'm that age. I wish for the years to reverse, because I see how life can be over too soon. I haven't wasted my life, but I'm not sure I can get all the things that I want to do in before it's my time. I regret not spending more time with the people that matter in my life. So I'm looking forward to the remainder of my life, and being me. Just me.
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