Every day, as I (reluctantly) get out of bed, my thoughts turn to the day ahead. Caring for my daughter and gransdon is sometimes just too much. I find myself longing for peace - quiet - a moment when no one is calling Mommy or Oma, a moment when there is just me alone.
I spent a lot of time by myself as a kid. I was shy and had no siblings living at home with me. I read books - sometimes over and over. I became accustomed to being alone, and in the quiet I began to find who I was. Of course, I grew up and the shyness evaporated, thankfully. Now when I tell people how shy I was, they look at me with a curious stare - you, you were shy?????
So each day, I feel torn - I do want to be with the kids, helping them grow and learn. But I find myself wandering away, mentally, wanting to go to my quiet place of solitude and to just be alone. And some days, the more time I get away, the harder it is to get back into the mix of kids, noise from toys, music blaring, tv in the background, laughter. That's when we grab a puzzle, colorbook, or the sidewalk chalk, and that I can handle.
I spent a lot of time by myself as a kid. I was shy and had no siblings living at home with me. I read books - sometimes over and over. I became accustomed to being alone, and in the quiet I began to find who I was. Of course, I grew up and the shyness evaporated, thankfully. Now when I tell people how shy I was, they look at me with a curious stare - you, you were shy?????
So each day, I feel torn - I do want to be with the kids, helping them grow and learn. But I find myself wandering away, mentally, wanting to go to my quiet place of solitude and to just be alone. And some days, the more time I get away, the harder it is to get back into the mix of kids, noise from toys, music blaring, tv in the background, laughter. That's when we grab a puzzle, colorbook, or the sidewalk chalk, and that I can handle.
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