In the ten years since my mom passed away I have had so many questions come up that only she could answer. How long were you in labor when I was born? Was I a good baby? When did I walk? What funny things did I do as a toddler?
Then I got to thinking about all the questions I have about her. I was in my thirties when she died, and not yet at the point where I could relate to her as a woman, more than just my mom. As a typical child, I thought of myself and my life and never took the time to think that she had already walked the path I was on; marriage, children, family life. Too late I realized that the nuggets of truth, motherly advice, and details of the past died with her. I would never know the woman that she was.
If I had the chance I would ask so many questions of the young woman she once was - long before she was married and had a family.
What were you like as a kid? What is the best memory you remember from your childhood? The worst? Do you remember your father? Did you have a favorite toy, a best friend, a treasured book?
What was your best subject in school? Did you have a dream for your future? What did you want to be?
How did you and Dad meet? Did you love anyone before you met him? What was the one thing you loved most about him?
How did you get such beautiful handwriting? Were you always so good at playing (winning) games?
What did you really feel when you found out you were pregnant with your first child? Were you scared?
Do you have any regrets?
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Monday, April 20, 2015
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Jamie Lee Curtis
Yesterday, somehow, I had some time to spare (yes, it does happen on occasion) and I picked up the AARP magazine my sister sent me. She's the 50+ subscriber, not me. They won't return my calls until I've reached that maturity level, I guess. Anyway.....On the cover is Jamie Lee Curtis. I have LOVED her since I first saw her in Halloween - way back when I was a teenager, and for that matter, so was she. And now I love her even more, because she has rejected all the beauty on the surface crap and become who she is - just a wife, mom, woman. I feel so lucky, because I am becoming that now, at 37 (ok, 41 for those of you who know the truth) rather than wasting another minute pining to be what I'm not. Check out the link to the article here: http://www.aarpmagazine.org/entertainment/essential_jamie_lee_curtis.html
Sure, I want a rock-solid butt or less wrinkles around my face, and definitely a nose that isn't so "Dutch". But overall, I'm just who I want to be, and it's women like her that verify I'm on the right track. I hope that I am that kind of role model to my daughter, for that matter to my step-daughters, even though they are 18 & 22, and past much of the part of their lives when they could be influenced.
I remember when my mom turned 55 - the double nickel as she called it - and I couldn't see what all the fuss was. Mom was never one to wear makeup, fancy clothes or lots of bling - she was just Rose, and although she did color her hair red, she didn't pretend to be anyone but Rose. I don't know if she ever wanted to look different. I think she accepted what she looked like (to me, as a kid, she looked a lot like Lucy Ricardo - and was just as fun) because she didn't have money for the fancy things, and later when she could afford them, she had no interest in them. As a teenager, looks are very important, and she did what she could to help me through those difficult years - trying for the perfect Farrah Fawcett hair, buying the right clothes - but all within reason. She never let me hide my true self, or cover up with trendy clothes to fit in. And as hard as it was at the time, I'm thankful now, because for the last 20 or so years of my life, I have LOVED who I was - and have loved becoming who I am.
I joked about being 37 -the truth is that I'm okay with being 41 and 11/12ths. I just don't FEEL like I'm that age. I wish for the years to reverse, because I see how life can be over too soon. I haven't wasted my life, but I'm not sure I can get all the things that I want to do in before it's my time. I regret not spending more time with the people that matter in my life. So I'm looking forward to the remainder of my life, and being me. Just me.
Sure, I want a rock-solid butt or less wrinkles around my face, and definitely a nose that isn't so "Dutch". But overall, I'm just who I want to be, and it's women like her that verify I'm on the right track. I hope that I am that kind of role model to my daughter, for that matter to my step-daughters, even though they are 18 & 22, and past much of the part of their lives when they could be influenced.
I remember when my mom turned 55 - the double nickel as she called it - and I couldn't see what all the fuss was. Mom was never one to wear makeup, fancy clothes or lots of bling - she was just Rose, and although she did color her hair red, she didn't pretend to be anyone but Rose. I don't know if she ever wanted to look different. I think she accepted what she looked like (to me, as a kid, she looked a lot like Lucy Ricardo - and was just as fun) because she didn't have money for the fancy things, and later when she could afford them, she had no interest in them. As a teenager, looks are very important, and she did what she could to help me through those difficult years - trying for the perfect Farrah Fawcett hair, buying the right clothes - but all within reason. She never let me hide my true self, or cover up with trendy clothes to fit in. And as hard as it was at the time, I'm thankful now, because for the last 20 or so years of my life, I have LOVED who I was - and have loved becoming who I am.
I joked about being 37 -the truth is that I'm okay with being 41 and 11/12ths. I just don't FEEL like I'm that age. I wish for the years to reverse, because I see how life can be over too soon. I haven't wasted my life, but I'm not sure I can get all the things that I want to do in before it's my time. I regret not spending more time with the people that matter in my life. So I'm looking forward to the remainder of my life, and being me. Just me.
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